Boris Johnson + Walmart + China = Peace

It's not a joke, but it will make you laugh... and hesitate next time you vote.

Boris Johnson has delivered the funniest and most overtly propagandist article I’ve read (which is a helluva compliment considering I sift through propaganda like a child lithium miner).

Boris reckons Walmart helps world peace, and thus we must support Ukraine so that the West can become friends with China. He conveniently forgets to tell us how much of Walmart’s billionaires’ billions depend on Chinese trade.

Here’s an extract:

“Well howdy doody y’all. I am filing this ­dispatch from Bentonville in Arkansas, a delightful place that boasts exhilarating mountain bike trails into the neighbouring Ozarks.

The air is like champagne, the sky is bright blue, the leaves are turning red and gold in that unique American way — and I am witnessing an economic miracle; and a lesson on how free and open markets remain essential for world peace…

It was here in ­Bentonville, Arkansas, in 1950, that former Boy Scout champ and U.S. army captain Sam Walton founded the first shop — Walton’s — that was over time to become Walmart.

Walmart is the biggest private-sector employer in the world... What, you will be asking yourself, is the secret of this continuing commercial success? I will tell you in a word. It’s China... there was no one better than Sam Walton at buying low, and marking up...

The last thing we need is a ­confrontation with China over Taiwan — and that is why we need to deter president Xi Jinping from any kind of miscalculation.

Which is one reason why we so desperately need the Ukrainians to win, and to push Putin out. If Ukraine goes down, the world’s autocracies will be further ­emboldened, and if Xi Jinping goes ahead and invades Taiwan, as many fear he will do, it will be a tragedy: for China, and for Taiwan — and for us in the West...

It is not just ­American consumers and Walmart ­shareholders who benefit from trade with China; it is, of course, the Chinese themselves. Think how many jobs those exports have created in China, how many ­Chinese lives have been changed for the better.

It is free trade that leads to peace and prosperity; and what’s good for Walmart is ­probably good for America and the world. Remember the 1930s."

I’m wondering if his article would enter the Guiness Book of Record’s as the most paid (if the benefit were revealed).

Except for the savvy class commentator who said that Boris had never been in a Walmart in his life, the next 50 commentators failed to call him an idiot, and were entertaining for that alone.

“God bless Sir Boris Johnson. He is a magnificent Prime Minister.”

I tend to (deliberately) miss The Daily Mail and The Daily Terrorgraph’s reporting, so I’m thankful to Rich Slutzky (from Counterspin) for sharing a screenshot of that headline. It became a journey to laughter.

Credit: Photo by Pete