Zelensky Asked for Their Names
14 assassinations, 88 eggs, a porn star and a one-man-band later...
It’s 10 years after the war with Russia…
Volodymyr Zelensky’s oligarch buddies stole the money from his Panama account. Putin made a display of friendship towards Ukraine, which included not jailing Zelensky.
After 14 assassination attempts by members of the underground Azov Brigade, the terrorists were painted green, tied to street poles, and executed. After 88 eggs were thrown at her, his wife divorced him to become a successful internet porn star under the name Glory Vogue. Zelensky was left safe, broke and alone.
He suffered for a long time as a solo musician, but gradually began to make the wrong friends which was very good for him. Through coalitions and backyard deals, he returned to politics with an even bigger smile.
As the new Mayor for Kharkiv, he visited Lozova Gymnasium to explain to the teenagers what politicians do, and why they’re so important. After his talk, he asked for questions.
One girl put her hand up. Zelensky asked for her name. “Faina Savenkova,” she said.
“And what is your question, Faina?”
“I have several. I collected them from the class before you came.”
“Go ahead, Faina.”
“First, how does a comedian become a President, and a one-man band become a Mayor?” she asked.
“Secondly, how can you be trusted as Mayor when you previously failed to investigate corruption complaints against your generals during the war.”
Just then, the bell rang for lunch time. Zelensky gave a big politician's smile and told the teens that they would continue after the break.
When they were back in class, Zelensky asked, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time. Who has a question?”
Several kids put their hands up. Zelensky pointed to another girl and asked what her name was. “Darya Dugin,” she said.
“And what are your questions, Darya?”
“Why did the lunch bell ring 20 minutes early? And why is Faina missing?”
This is a version of an old joke. I used it to make a point about a politician in my town, but its useful here too. Recognise any details in this parable?
