Cocaine (and Me)

1,716kg of raw cocaine, with an estimated street value of R2-billion, was found in Knysna, my little town in South Africa.

The biggest cocaine bust in South Africa’s history happened in 2010 in Knysna, population 80,000. I got involved via a documentary called ‘Cocaine Captains’ which was shown on the Fox Crime channel.

MY MORALITY (OR LACK THEREOF)

Before I share the video, you should know that:

• I’m a shit magnet for flies. Or, to be true to the cynic I am, curiosity and a stick up my butt has been a combination inserting me into interesting situations with bad people.

• Good people can sniff cocaine. If you’ve had a hard week and are at a party at the end of the world and the prettiest girl asks you to dance, who am I to decide how you get happy. I’m for personal liberty so long as it doesn’t involve addicts damaging others, drug dealers cutting it with poison, or the CIA and the Contras using it to buy weapons and destroy the lower class (I warned you that I’m anal).

COCAINE CAPTAINS

Because I was a semi-know-it-all, I landed up as the guide for a TV crew from Cape Town making ‘Cocaine Captains’. It was a short documentary about the 1,716kg of raw cocaine (with an estimated street value of R2-billion), who got caught, and how it was possible. It doubled as an excuse for me to show off our beautiful town.

It was common knowledge that drugs were being run through our unprotected harbour. It went hand-in-hand with foreign ships fishing with impunity off our ‘protected’ shore. Even our estuary sea horses were getting stolen. But local lore took on a “gotcha” dimension when a boat, that was docked next to a famous restaurant and a fancy holiday apartment, was caught with 50 ‘bricks’ of coke.

I stumbled into the documentary when the videographers couldn’t get any of those involved to speak about the police. Theoretically, they were the heroes in the story but citizens had the belief that they were involved. I’m not going to dig into that impression. At that stage, my only involvement was commentary.

Later, I exposed the police’s informant for fraud (she strangely wasn’t imprisoned), and I stuck up for one of the investigator’s when he was framed by his fellow cops (he got forced out, they got promoted). I also exposed the documentary’s commentator on security, and his wife, for being gun-toting con artists. They turned out to be witches (seriously) which added another awkward dimension to my life.

Three separate incidents. Shit. Magnet. Flies.

But no need to go into that when you’ve got the made-for-TV ‘Cocaine Captains’ to watch, and I’m practicing avoidance of fascinations that get me into trouble.

Mike. Sunshine. Birds.

AFTERMATH

My little appearance never helped my non-existent friendship with the Knysna police.

Xing Chuo Chen and Yu Wei Yau got 20-year sentences. Toledo boat owner, Shaun Packeraysammy, got 15. Three others were acquitted.

Oddly, there was a perjury charge in 2016 but I don’t know who it involved. That alone raises my suspicion meter but… fucking Mike, fucking sunshine and fucking birds.